Best 10 Open Letters To Spammers
After another frustrating day with spams in my mailbox, forum postings, and blog comments and I was just about to write yet another open letter to spammers, my better judgement tell me that I should do some search in Google instead. I ended up with a long list of letters, many of which are much better than if I were to write one.
Best 10 Open Letters To Spammer:
(check them out, they are hilarious !)
1. Cybrludite
If you’re going to keep sending me emails from January 18, 2038, could you include something useful, like say next week’s Powerball numbers, or the biggest sports upsets of the next five years? Just a thought…
2. Ara Pehlivanian
Well, the truth is, you’re scum. You’re not liked, and when people think of you, they rank you among such things as hemorrhoids and being crapped on by seagulls. Well, that’s not right because though being crapped on by seagulls is bad, it doesn’t happen every single freaking day.
3. Flyte Blog
However, I think it’s time we start seeing other people. You see, I’m just tired of deleting your comment spam day after day on my blogs. Like your recent comment on my post about my client who has a clip of himself playing tuba and piano at the same time on YouTube. You say, “Marvellous!I can send you real estate success stories and seminars which was arranged…”
4. Matt Hiltner
You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
5. A Small Victory
When she asks you what you do for a living, do you fib just a bit and tell her that you’re a publicist or a promoter? What if you get her in bed and she ends up falling in love with you (thanks to the free viagra you get from your company) and she wants to know more about your job?
6. Coll Writes
I hope you get caught & end up in prison where they sodomize you so badly that you realize that that’s exactly what you’re doing to those who optimistically apply for jobs day in and day out, as though it were our full time job.
7. The Dead Beat
I don’t know why you sent this to me, Heriberto, but it’s obvious you’re distressed by your wife’s choice in studs. If this wasn’t a desperate cry for help to an internet stranger you probably would have taken the time to type those four words correctly and without the odd choice in punctuation.
8. Punk Planet
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille. With four hungry children and a crop in the field. Now, I’ve had some bad times;lived through some sad times. But this time the hurtin’ won’t heal.
9. Jehzlau Concepts
To Dr. CCS, i know you’re such a green-eyed monster but this is no avenue for cheaters. We all endeavor for a job well done and of course, it would mean being on top of the list; so get away with your rubbishy style and learn how to play fair, that might be something that you haven’t tried yet for your entire life. Nevertheless, we can’t deny the fact that I’m always better than you.
10. Darrell Peart
Again I am very pleased that you are so eager to do business with my company and I look forward to receiving your shipment of (gold bullion).
Think you can do better Open Letter To Spammers? Share it with us !
